Saturday, February 6, 2010

Canadian ridiculousness

So my freshman year of college I went on spring break with 4 of my girlfriends.  Since we were not of legal drinking age in the United States we decided to expand our travels beyond the American borders.  But since we had no money to fly south, we decided to drive north to Montreal... *start singing* Oh Canada!

It was actually a pretty fantastic decision that I recommend to all broke college kids looking for a fun spring break.  In 5 days we each spent less than $500 total.  Including gas, hotel room, food, and of course lot's of alcohol.  (We were 18, it was exciting!)  However the money saving aspect is not the ridiculous part of this story, so let me digress.

We quickly found a routine of sleeping in late, starting to drinking in the room early, then heading out for dinner and bars.  Our favorite bar was "Winston Churchill's" and we ended every night there without fail.  It was just a typical bar, but it had a dance floor, ton's of bars and bartenders, and sometimes contests.  Pretty much everything we were looking for.

The last night we were in Canada we were dancing away at WC's, having a great time, when a contest began.  Now as anyone who has ever been to Montreal, they are known for a few things.  One of those things are strip clubs.  So contest of the night was quite on theme, it was an amateur strip contest!  Of course none of us participated, but that didn't keep us from watching!

It started with about 10 guys and 3 girls.  (Let me just make a side bar here that NONE of these people should be stripping.  NOT an attractive bunch!)  Soon the music was going...*bow chicka bow bow*... and the clothes started to come off.  It started innocently enough a shoe came off here, a jacket there.  Obviously the boys were much quicker to take off their shirts than the girls.  But no one really took their time and soon enough mostly everyone was down to their underwear.  Now is when people started losing their nerve and dropping out of the contest.  First was 2 of the girls, then 3 of the boys who refused to go full monty.

There are 7 boys and 1 girl left.  All the boys in the bar that are watching are praying to God at this point that the one girl stays in the contest.  Because otherwise they are just watching a bunch of drunk, sweaty dudes dance nakedly in a bar.  Fortunately for them, she stuck it out.

So now there are naked people dancing, covering their junk with their hands, and it's awful.  It's like a really terrible car accident that you don't want to look at, but you just can't tear your eyes away from.  Within a few minutes they announced a winner, thank God, but sadly it was the drunk girl.  I only say sadly because of what she did next.

The prize for winning was $100 to the bar.  And she stayed and drank the whole $100 worth.  By herself.  Still COMPLETELY naked!!!!  While the other contestants immediately got dressed again, she did not.  I don't know if it was because she thought she hot enough to run around naked because she won the contest (no one is hot enough for that).  Or if she was too drunk to realize she was still naked (totally possible).  So we got to spend the rest of evening attempting not to look at the drunk naked girl, but how could you not?

Either way, it made for quite the ridiculous last night of spring break.  And I never want to go to a bar with naked people in it again, ick.

So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including spring breakers in Canada.


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