Monday, February 28, 2011

Top 10 Horror Roommate Stories: Part 1

I know everyone has had terrible roommates. I think it's a necessary part of being in your 20's. It's like if you never had to choose between rent money and alcohol (alcohol wins), lived in a shitty apartment (extra points in there were mice), or had a roommate from hell, then your freakish good luck is bound to run out eventually and you will end up living in a box outside of the 7-11 on Causeway Street with the other bums. I am now, thank God, at a point in my life where I live in a nice apartment with people I actually like. However, it was not always that way. Since everyone can relate to a roommate horror story, I thought you would enjoy my top 10 awful roommate stories. This post has been taking me forever so I'm just going to post them 1 at a time rather than all at once as a way to actually get them uploaded! Enjoy and if you have a horror roommate stories, tell me about it in the comments!

10) Bra + Party = Bizzare Reaction

So I had one roommate a few years ago, let's call her Katie*, that I did not get along with. Actually, almost no one got along with her. This story might shed some light as to why we did not like her. It was summer and hot as hell in my apartment, and we unfortunately did not have AC. My other roommates and I had a small get together, primarily with my coworkers. I worked at P.F. Chang's at the time, and if you have ever been a server or friends with a server, you know we like to party. So we're all drunk, playing beer pong, flip cup, nothing out of the ordinary. And Katie is in her bedroom, alone, with the door shut. Girlfriend did NOT like to party. She was not a drinker, not social, and pretty much just not fun. So when she finally ventured out of her lair to get something to drink (water) she was wearing nothing but teeny tiny shorts and a bra. Now sister had a great body, I'll give her that. But seriously? That's what you're going to wear when there 40 people, least half of whom are male, hanging out in the living room?

So that's already pretty weird. But not ridiculous enough for it to make the top 10. What happened next was though. So Katie's in the kitchen, being bitchy, basically naked, and then she goes back to her room. Before going back to her room though she decides she’s hungry and wants something to eat. Most people would make a snack like a bowl of cereal, leftover pizza, a sandwich. Normal foods for midnight if you are hungry. However I forgot to mention that Katie was also batshit crazy about her diet and pretty much survived on vegetables. So she decides to boil a pot of carrots. Really. It’s a hundred degrees, there are people hanging out and drinking, and you decide it’s boiled carrot time? So ridiculously bizarre.

So now’s she’s back in her room, and it's absolutely NO surprise that people were talking about her after she left. Pretty predictable responses, "Who was that girl?" "She's pretty hot." "Why wasn't she wearing clothes?" “Why was she boiling a pot of carrots?” etc... If you're going to walk around like that during a party, expect to get talked about. I guess Katie overheard this while she went to the bathroom or something, because she then FREAKED OUT about people talking about her. To the point where she confronted one of my other roommates about it and had a straight up melt down. You know how to not have people talk about you? Throw on a shirt next time you decide to walk through a party. Dumbie.


So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including crazy, carrot boiling, naked roommates.


*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.