So the other day my friend Amanda* was checking out Craigslist ads for housing because she was considering subletting a room in the fall. She would send me different listings that seemed reasonable to get my opnions on them, but no one really stood out about the rest. They were all fairly typical: price, description of apartment, few lines about how they are friendly and clean. Whatever, blah blah, here are some pictures. I didn't think I would be much of a help since they were all so similar, until she asked me a very important question.
What is BDSM?
To be honest with you, my first reaction was to laugh at her for a few minutes. Then, between gasping breathes from laughing so hard, I was forced to ask why she wanted to know since this question came out of context. Only when she sent me this posting did I explain to her what BDSM was.
This is the posting copied and pasted verbatim:
$700 Female Only BDSM Lifestyle House (JP)
We are a group of 3 Females (and one male servant)........ Gay friendly ........in our 20's......... in JP. We share a common interest ....We are are looking for a FEMALE roomate only ......who shares the same interests or at least understands (If you don't know what BDSM is then don't reply) Please be serious and real . Reply with contact number.
Now not only is this posting a little bit insane, but it truly seems like it should be found on the "Casual Encounters" section of Craigslist rather than the "Apt/Housing" section. Here's the thing, I totally don't judge this kind of stuff. Hey, it's your life, do what you want with it. I'm big on the live and let live mentality. However, the idea of my friend Amanda going and checking out this apartment without being aware of what BDSM is was almost too much to bear.
Other friends, like Amanda, that don't know BDSM is might want to get out this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bdsm
However the brief description is that BDSM stands for bondage, discipline (or) dominance, submission (or) sadism and masochism. So if you didn't know that, can you possibly imagine what you would have walked into at that apartment!
I decided to be kind and explain to her what it was so she didn't waste her time. But I almost let her go when she said to me, "Wow they have a servent, it must be a really nice place!" just to watch her freak out when she realized what kind of "servant" he really was.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including kink-loving people looking for a new roommate.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not to so innocent, and myself.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Top 10 Horror Roommate Stories: Part 3
Where we left off in the series we had two different types of crazy. The "bitch" crazy and the "insecure" crazy. Now we have my least favorite kind of crazy, the "attention whore" crazy.
8) OH GOD A SPIDER!! *hyperventilates and collapses"
So this is my most recent horror roommate story. It happened this past summer (2010) when I was living in Allston. During that summer my one roommate moved home to save some money. So we had a sublet move-in. I now notice that two out of three of my stories so far are with sublets, damn I've had some bad luck. The sublet that moved in, Trish*, was cool at first. But she slowly began to show us her crazy side, just making outlandish comments and doing ridiculous things just for the attention. Nothing drove me too nuts, until she unleashed her crazy full force during what I consider to be a very important time.
That time was Sunday's at 10:00PM. And what, you may ask, is so important at 10:00PM on Sunday's? The answer is only the greatest television show of all time, True Blood. I know many of you may be mocking me right about now, but don't knock it until you've tried it! (BTW I know that I am just as ridiculous as some of the people I write about, no need to point it out. But this is my blog, so whatever.) So there I am with my other roommate watching True Blood. Literally all of the lights are off and there is five minutes left in the episode. It is dead silent in the apartment except for the tv, and Trish knows how much we love this show.
She came home when the episode was almost over. To her credit she very quietly waved at us and walked up the steps to her room. That's when you would think she found a dead body on her stairwell.
She SCREAMED. Like a blood curtling, ear drum shattering, goosebump inducing, scream you would use upon finding your neighbor gutted and hung from a tree by Ghostface a la "Scream." Then she came running down the steps, hyperventilating the entire time. At this point we obviously paused the show to see what was wrong (I'm not heartless).
She crumbles to the floor in a disheveled heap, panting for breath, leaning against the door frame for support. And she barely chokes out, "Spider. Spider."
Ok at this point I'm thinking it has to be a big fucking spider to induce this kind of reaction. So I get up, grab a papertowl and a shoe, and go on a spider killing mission. When I say the spider was the teeniest, tiniest thing in the world, I am not exagerrating. I barely even saw it. It was so small that I would have felt like a giant human bully for killing it, so I just left it be and told Trish I killed it.
At this point I resummed my position on the coach, hit play, and continued the last few minutes of my favorite show. Since I was pissed she interupted me for literally no reason I made no effort to give her a hand. She sat there, hyperventilating and occassionally skrieking for a solide two hours. Legitimately just waiting for someone to ask if she's alright or offer her a hand.
Which none of us did. Like I said, it's my least favorite kind of crazy. I don't give into attention craving, spider fearing, room subleting, nut jobs. Now I understand that arachnophobia is a real thing. But I also understand that this girl was not an arachnophobe, and was really just scared that people weren't paying attention to her.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including attention seeking lunatics.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
8) OH GOD A SPIDER!! *hyperventilates and collapses"
So this is my most recent horror roommate story. It happened this past summer (2010) when I was living in Allston. During that summer my one roommate moved home to save some money. So we had a sublet move-in. I now notice that two out of three of my stories so far are with sublets, damn I've had some bad luck. The sublet that moved in, Trish*, was cool at first. But she slowly began to show us her crazy side, just making outlandish comments and doing ridiculous things just for the attention. Nothing drove me too nuts, until she unleashed her crazy full force during what I consider to be a very important time.
That time was Sunday's at 10:00PM. And what, you may ask, is so important at 10:00PM on Sunday's? The answer is only the greatest television show of all time, True Blood. I know many of you may be mocking me right about now, but don't knock it until you've tried it! (BTW I know that I am just as ridiculous as some of the people I write about, no need to point it out. But this is my blog, so whatever.) So there I am with my other roommate watching True Blood. Literally all of the lights are off and there is five minutes left in the episode. It is dead silent in the apartment except for the tv, and Trish knows how much we love this show.
She came home when the episode was almost over. To her credit she very quietly waved at us and walked up the steps to her room. That's when you would think she found a dead body on her stairwell.
She SCREAMED. Like a blood curtling, ear drum shattering, goosebump inducing, scream you would use upon finding your neighbor gutted and hung from a tree by Ghostface a la "Scream." Then she came running down the steps, hyperventilating the entire time. At this point we obviously paused the show to see what was wrong (I'm not heartless).
She crumbles to the floor in a disheveled heap, panting for breath, leaning against the door frame for support. And she barely chokes out, "Spider. Spider."
Ok at this point I'm thinking it has to be a big fucking spider to induce this kind of reaction. So I get up, grab a papertowl and a shoe, and go on a spider killing mission. When I say the spider was the teeniest, tiniest thing in the world, I am not exagerrating. I barely even saw it. It was so small that I would have felt like a giant human bully for killing it, so I just left it be and told Trish I killed it.
At this point I resummed my position on the coach, hit play, and continued the last few minutes of my favorite show. Since I was pissed she interupted me for literally no reason I made no effort to give her a hand. She sat there, hyperventilating and occassionally skrieking for a solide two hours. Legitimately just waiting for someone to ask if she's alright or offer her a hand.
Which none of us did. Like I said, it's my least favorite kind of crazy. I don't give into attention craving, spider fearing, room subleting, nut jobs. Now I understand that arachnophobia is a real thing. But I also understand that this girl was not an arachnophobe, and was really just scared that people weren't paying attention to her.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including attention seeking lunatics.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
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