AAAHHHH WHITE PICKET FENCE!!!!

This is story is a classic from 3 years ago.  It was my sophomore year and I decided to throw a party in the crappy, run down, perfect for college apartment I was living in at the time.  As per usual with parties I had my closer friends come over early to drink before the rest of the attendees arrived.  Among the people coming early was a girl named Christina*.  Now Christina and I were never that close, but she was close with my other friends so along she came.  

Now some back story on Christina is needed for this tale.  She is A) a homebody, B) desperately wants to get married and have children IMMEDIATELY and C) kind of insane.  So in the beginning of the night there was probably only 20 people at my apartment, equal ratio of guys to girls, perfect scenario for her to talk to a guy.  Instead, she disappeared and did not make her reappearance until later when the party was in full swing.  I repeat, she is single, wants to meet a guy, but leaves during the time when meeting a guy is the most feasible at this particular party.

So the night goes on, people are getting drunker, and behavior is getting a bit wilder.  Not unlike any other college party.  I go into my room to grab something out of my closet and this is what I found.  On the floor of my walk-in closet is Christina, curled up in the fetal position with my blanket around her, mascara streamed all over her face from crying so much, and literally screaming at the top of her lungs.  But she wasn't screaming words, oh no, that would be too normal.  She was just screaming.  For apparently no reason.  During a party.  In my closet.

Amanda* is in there attempting to take care of her/console her to no avail.  I discover from Amanda that the reason Christina is so devastated is because she's single.  It was literally as if this girl had just found out someone had died she was so distraught.  May I again remind you that she was AT a PARTY with many, many BOYS!!  But instead of talking to them, she was in my closet.  Screaming.

At this point, I frankly don't care, and just go back out into the party.  All of a sudden like a hurricane Christina goes running as fast as she can past us.  Amanda is in hot pursuit of her, trying to convince her to stop or at least slow down.  Christina sprints out of the apartment, down the stairs, and out into the street.  Screaming the entire time.  Amanda is running after her cursing and wondering what the fuck is going on.  This continues for, without exaggeration, a solid hour.

Christina runs down the street, up the street, up my stairs, into the party, out of the party, down the stairs, to the street again.  At least point she is obviously drawing quite a bit of attention.  And I must say, there is nothing more attractive to a man than a hysterically crying, shrilling screaming, hot mess of a woman devastated about being single.

I should have made this girls name Sybil instead of Christina.  Needless to say, she didn't end up coming to any of my parties again.  But she did give me an excellent story to tell.

So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including sophomores who just can't handle a party.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.