The tragic tale of my first (and last) keg stand.

Now that I have started my first full-time, real-world, adult job, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my college life. All of the drinks I drank, the spectacles I made of myself, the embarrassing situations I got myself into, and the friends I made. This story from freshman year combines all of those things in a beautiful, disgusting, over the top tale of love, trust, way too much tequila, and my very first keg stand. This story is also the reason I haven't done one since. Enjoy my 18 year-old stupidity in story form. (Also, sorry in advance Mom and Dad.)

So it's a Friday night and I plan on going to a party with my boyfriend of the time and my group of girlfriends (most of whom I still live with today). My boyfriend comes to my dorm room first with a bottle of tequila and I take about 7 shots of it with just him. Already a dangerous start to the evening. Dangerous, but typical. Then my girlfriends join us and I'd say another 4 shots were taken. Keep in mind this is over 5 years ago so exact numbers might not be correct. Then we head off to the party.

For anyone familiar with Boston, this party was on Mission Hill. So it was bound to be a wild party and a good time had by all. Once we're all the party nothing out of the ordinary is occuring. There are kegs of beer, loud music, lot's of people, dancing, games, fear of the cops coming, escape plans being mapped if said cops do come, etc. At one (exceptionally drunk) point I'm refilling my $5 solo cup of beer, (my God parties were cheap!) and I mention that I had never done a keg stand before. The kid I was chatting to by the keg shouts, "Keg stand virgin!!!" and the room is filled with people now encouring me to do my first one.

In all fairness, it did not take my encouraging on their part. I was all about it and flipped upside down within seconds. The amount of time I was on the keg I don't remember, nor is it really important. What is important is what happened next. The crowd in the room went from cheering the number of seconds I was drinking, to chanting, "Chase it! Chase it! Chase it!" as a bottle of Jack Daniels was shoved into my hand.

Now picture this. I'm 18, drunk, and having a great time. I just did my first keg stand and had a bottle of Jack in my hand. The entire party is cheering for me to chase it, including my boyfriend. And I see my friends on the other side of the room, inapparent slow motion, running towards me going, "Noooooooooo!!!!" As if that was going to stop me.

I take a shot, pump my hand victoriously in the air, and immediately fall backwards. Thank God my boyfriend was there to catch me, and subsequently help me back to my dorm right after that. It was lights out for Ashley. Tequila/keg stand/JD = 1 Ashley = 0. It was a TKO.

That is the reason I no longer do keg stands. Or drink Jack Daniels. But I do still love tequila.

So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including drunk college freshman who happily give into the crowds demands.