Ok so aside from being a blogger extrodinare I am also a receptionist at Entercom Boston. Entercom Boston is a radio station company, we run WAAF, WEEI, WRKO and WMKK. WAAF is a rock station that's pretty popular in Boston. I used to intern for them for 4 months, then I was on their street team for 6 months, and that lead to me getting the receptionist gig. There are way too many ridiculous stories I could tell you from working at a rock radio station for over a year, it's just madness here sometimes.
But instead of telling you some tales I'll just post a video that they did recently. It's called "60 Seconds with Spaz" and they post a video weekly. Spaz is one of the guys on the morning show, and he's essentially the butt of all the jokes, the one that gets shit on the most. Mainly because he is quite ridiculous. They asked me to help out with their video this week, and I of course said yes! Check it out below and let me know what you think!
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including every single employee at a radio station (on-air personality to receptionist).
Friday, March 11, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Top 10 Horror Roommate Stories: Part 2
So here is part two of my Top Ten Roommate Horror Stories. Story number 9 really just made me pity this girl more than anything. She is definitely a “lifer” as far as ridiculous behavior goes. Thank God she just subletted for a few months! If you have a horror roommate story I would LOVE to hear it, leave it in the comments below!
9) -Do I look like a slut? -Yes. -Great!
I actually feel kind of bad for the girl in this story, because she's so ridiculous and doesn't realize it. However I felt worse for myself because I had to deal with her. This took place "middler" year (for those of you who didn't go to Northeastern University, we are a 5-year program and the 3rd year is called middler) after 2 of my roommates already moved out to study abroad. One of their sublets was a nice, albeit ridiculous, girl named Jackie*.
Now Jackie was under 21 but had a fake id, so we invited her out with us one night. Mistake. The bar we were going to is tragically no longer in existence, but it was a very casual piano bar (Jake Ivory's for those of you in the know). Translation, it's a jeans and t-shirt kind of a bar. So when Jackie walked out of her room wearing booty shorts, a leopard print tube top, "fuck-me" heels, a face full of makeup, and hair teased to Snooki proportions, we were a little thrown off. But whatever, not my place if you don't want my opinion.
Here's the clincher though, she then asked us for our opinions. I'm not really one to sugar coat things, clearly. This is how the conversation went:
Jackie: Hey how do I look?
Me: Like a slut.
Jackie: Hahaha, no really! How do I look?
Me: Like a big slut.
Jackie: Hahah, oh Ashley! *walks away*
Me: *yells down the hallway* No, seriously, you look like an enormous slut!
Apparently she chose to either embrace the slut look, or she thought I was joking. Either way, she kept the outfit on. Now that's not really a big deal, if you want to dress like a hooker that's totally your prerogative! Anyways, the truly ridiculous part of this story has yet to come.
We're out, we're dancing, and we’re having a great time! All of a sudden it's like a flip was switched. A switch that was apparently labeled "sane” and "crazy." Jackie comes up to us with tears pouring down her face. Big, drunken, mascara streaked tears. She looked like she belonged in an Alice Cooper video.
So she's sobbing and we can't figure out why. In between breathes she tells us it's because she doesn't have a boyfriend. Like I said, the switch was flipped to "crazy." Apparently her big game-plan for the night was to dress like a whore, and then find some guy that wanted to take her home to mom. That was her logic. Jackie and her friend left, and we stayed to finish our night. We (wrongly) assumed by the time we got home she would have calmed down or fallen asleep.
As we walk into the kitchen we are greeted with the sounds of crying and yelling. She's all worked up about how she's single and is never going to meet anyone. I just want to repeat here that she wasn't even 21 yet. Also, everyone that lived in our apartment was single (there were 6 of us total) except for myself. For her to be having such a meltdown was just ridiculous.
Honestly at this point you can pretty much guess what happened. I told her to stop dressing slutty because the guys that will hit on you want to sleep with you, not date you. Also don't expect to meet your future husband at a crowded bar. Then I ate some snacks and went to bed. I also refused to go to a bar with her again after that.
So remember , everyone is ridiculous, including slutty, crying 20-year olds.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
9) -Do I look like a slut? -Yes. -Great!
I actually feel kind of bad for the girl in this story, because she's so ridiculous and doesn't realize it. However I felt worse for myself because I had to deal with her. This took place "middler" year (for those of you who didn't go to Northeastern University, we are a 5-year program and the 3rd year is called middler) after 2 of my roommates already moved out to study abroad. One of their sublets was a nice, albeit ridiculous, girl named Jackie*.
Now Jackie was under 21 but had a fake id, so we invited her out with us one night. Mistake. The bar we were going to is tragically no longer in existence, but it was a very casual piano bar (Jake Ivory's for those of you in the know). Translation, it's a jeans and t-shirt kind of a bar. So when Jackie walked out of her room wearing booty shorts, a leopard print tube top, "fuck-me" heels, a face full of makeup, and hair teased to Snooki proportions, we were a little thrown off. But whatever, not my place if you don't want my opinion.
Here's the clincher though, she then asked us for our opinions. I'm not really one to sugar coat things, clearly. This is how the conversation went:
Jackie: Hey how do I look?
Me: Like a slut.
Jackie: Hahaha, no really! How do I look?
Me: Like a big slut.
Jackie: Hahah, oh Ashley! *walks away*
Me: *yells down the hallway* No, seriously, you look like an enormous slut!
Apparently she chose to either embrace the slut look, or she thought I was joking. Either way, she kept the outfit on. Now that's not really a big deal, if you want to dress like a hooker that's totally your prerogative! Anyways, the truly ridiculous part of this story has yet to come.
We're out, we're dancing, and we’re having a great time! All of a sudden it's like a flip was switched. A switch that was apparently labeled "sane” and "crazy." Jackie comes up to us with tears pouring down her face. Big, drunken, mascara streaked tears. She looked like she belonged in an Alice Cooper video.
So she's sobbing and we can't figure out why. In between breathes she tells us it's because she doesn't have a boyfriend. Like I said, the switch was flipped to "crazy." Apparently her big game-plan for the night was to dress like a whore, and then find some guy that wanted to take her home to mom. That was her logic. Jackie and her friend left, and we stayed to finish our night. We (wrongly) assumed by the time we got home she would have calmed down or fallen asleep.
As we walk into the kitchen we are greeted with the sounds of crying and yelling. She's all worked up about how she's single and is never going to meet anyone. I just want to repeat here that she wasn't even 21 yet. Also, everyone that lived in our apartment was single (there were 6 of us total) except for myself. For her to be having such a meltdown was just ridiculous.
Honestly at this point you can pretty much guess what happened. I told her to stop dressing slutty because the guys that will hit on you want to sleep with you, not date you. Also don't expect to meet your future husband at a crowded bar. Then I ate some snacks and went to bed. I also refused to go to a bar with her again after that.
So remember , everyone is ridiculous, including slutty, crying 20-year olds.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Top 10 Horror Roommate Stories: Part 1
I know everyone has had terrible roommates. I think it's a necessary part of being in your 20's. It's like if you never had to choose between rent money and alcohol (alcohol wins), lived in a shitty apartment (extra points in there were mice), or had a roommate from hell, then your freakish good luck is bound to run out eventually and you will end up living in a box outside of the 7-11 on Causeway Street with the other bums. I am now, thank God, at a point in my life where I live in a nice apartment with people I actually like. However, it was not always that way. Since everyone can relate to a roommate horror story, I thought you would enjoy my top 10 awful roommate stories. This post has been taking me forever so I'm just going to post them 1 at a time rather than all at once as a way to actually get them uploaded! Enjoy and if you have a horror roommate stories, tell me about it in the comments!
10) Bra + Party = Bizzare Reaction
So I had one roommate a few years ago, let's call her Katie*, that I did not get along with. Actually, almost no one got along with her. This story might shed some light as to why we did not like her. It was summer and hot as hell in my apartment, and we unfortunately did not have AC. My other roommates and I had a small get together, primarily with my coworkers. I worked at P.F. Chang's at the time, and if you have ever been a server or friends with a server, you know we like to party. So we're all drunk, playing beer pong, flip cup, nothing out of the ordinary. And Katie is in her bedroom, alone, with the door shut. Girlfriend did NOT like to party. She was not a drinker, not social, and pretty much just not fun. So when she finally ventured out of her lair to get something to drink (water) she was wearing nothing but teeny tiny shorts and a bra. Now sister had a great body, I'll give her that. But seriously? That's what you're going to wear when there 40 people, least half of whom are male, hanging out in the living room?
So that's already pretty weird. But not ridiculous enough for it to make the top 10. What happened next was though. So Katie's in the kitchen, being bitchy, basically naked, and then she goes back to her room. Before going back to her room though she decides she’s hungry and wants something to eat. Most people would make a snack like a bowl of cereal, leftover pizza, a sandwich. Normal foods for midnight if you are hungry. However I forgot to mention that Katie was also batshit crazy about her diet and pretty much survived on vegetables. So she decides to boil a pot of carrots. Really. It’s a hundred degrees, there are people hanging out and drinking, and you decide it’s boiled carrot time? So ridiculously bizarre.
So now’s she’s back in her room, and it's absolutely NO surprise that people were talking about her after she left. Pretty predictable responses, "Who was that girl?" "She's pretty hot." "Why wasn't she wearing clothes?" “Why was she boiling a pot of carrots?” etc... If you're going to walk around like that during a party, expect to get talked about. I guess Katie overheard this while she went to the bathroom or something, because she then FREAKED OUT about people talking about her. To the point where she confronted one of my other roommates about it and had a straight up melt down. You know how to not have people talk about you? Throw on a shirt next time you decide to walk through a party. Dumbie.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including crazy, carrot boiling, naked roommates.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
10) Bra + Party = Bizzare Reaction
So I had one roommate a few years ago, let's call her Katie*, that I did not get along with. Actually, almost no one got along with her. This story might shed some light as to why we did not like her. It was summer and hot as hell in my apartment, and we unfortunately did not have AC. My other roommates and I had a small get together, primarily with my coworkers. I worked at P.F. Chang's at the time, and if you have ever been a server or friends with a server, you know we like to party. So we're all drunk, playing beer pong, flip cup, nothing out of the ordinary. And Katie is in her bedroom, alone, with the door shut. Girlfriend did NOT like to party. She was not a drinker, not social, and pretty much just not fun. So when she finally ventured out of her lair to get something to drink (water) she was wearing nothing but teeny tiny shorts and a bra. Now sister had a great body, I'll give her that. But seriously? That's what you're going to wear when there 40 people, least half of whom are male, hanging out in the living room?
So that's already pretty weird. But not ridiculous enough for it to make the top 10. What happened next was though. So Katie's in the kitchen, being bitchy, basically naked, and then she goes back to her room. Before going back to her room though she decides she’s hungry and wants something to eat. Most people would make a snack like a bowl of cereal, leftover pizza, a sandwich. Normal foods for midnight if you are hungry. However I forgot to mention that Katie was also batshit crazy about her diet and pretty much survived on vegetables. So she decides to boil a pot of carrots. Really. It’s a hundred degrees, there are people hanging out and drinking, and you decide it’s boiled carrot time? So ridiculously bizarre.
So now’s she’s back in her room, and it's absolutely NO surprise that people were talking about her after she left. Pretty predictable responses, "Who was that girl?" "She's pretty hot." "Why wasn't she wearing clothes?" “Why was she boiling a pot of carrots?” etc... If you're going to walk around like that during a party, expect to get talked about. I guess Katie overheard this while she went to the bathroom or something, because she then FREAKED OUT about people talking about her. To the point where she confronted one of my other roommates about it and had a straight up melt down. You know how to not have people talk about you? Throw on a shirt next time you decide to walk through a party. Dumbie.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including crazy, carrot boiling, naked roommates.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
So proud to be a husky!!
This video is ridiculous, and it makes me want to go back to school SO BADLY. Also, it makes me wish I knew these kids/was part of making this video. I can't even contain how much I love it. Just a few of my favorite quotes:
"Don't go through the Fens for a night job, or you'll end up in the crime log!"
"You'll live and die on the green line, and never be on time."
"Yes I'm a coop, not I'm not an intern. Aren't you a junior? No, I'm just a middler!!"
Ok so you might not enjoy this as much if you didn't go to NEU. But if you want to see a really awesome, funny, well made video that gives you an inside look into what my life at college was life, check it out.
"Don't go through the Fens for a night job, or you'll end up in the crime log!"
"You'll live and die on the green line, and never be on time."
"Yes I'm a coop, not I'm not an intern. Aren't you a junior? No, I'm just a middler!!"
Ok so you might not enjoy this as much if you didn't go to NEU. But if you want to see a really awesome, funny, well made video that gives you an inside look into what my life at college was life, check it out.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Don't touch the wizards staff!
This story took place over the summer, but I just got around to posting it on my blog. A few months ago my friend Ted* went back to his hometown in PA for a bit to see some old friends. One night his buddy invites him out to a strip club. Not only a strip club, but a BYO strip club! That's basically hitting the jackpot. Damn strip club beers cost $100/bottle. That's scientific fact.
While Ted was kind of hesitant to believe that a strip club would be BYO, he still bought a 30-rack of PBR and was ready to go to town if it was. So as he starts walking into the strip club, a bouncer (of course) stops him and asks him what the hell he is doing. When he replies, "It's BYO, right?" the bouncer essentially laughs in his face. So Ted tosses the beer in the trunk of his car, and heads in disappointed, but not surprised.
Now he's ready to see the naked ladies, so he figures he'll just order a beer inside. But that wasn't going to happen either. Not only is it not BYO, but it's also a dry bar. When the waitress asks him what he wants to drink, and tells him they don't have any beer, he ends up getting a juice. Seriously. A juice. At a strip club. Now Ted is in the strip club, watching a "19-year old girl paying her way through college" (i.e. 14 year old drop out from Russia), totally sober, drinking apple juice. It didn't take very long for him to decide to leave. I guess strip clubs kind of lose their appeal when there's no haze of alcohol to help you.
At this point Ted heads back home with his friends, determined to forget what a bizarre and uncomfortable night it's been already. So he starts pounding his PBR's, making up for lost time. At this point he decides to make a wizard's staff out of his empties. For those of you who have never made a wizard's staff, you basically just tape together the beer cans so they are all standing atop of another. Difficult or creative? No. Fun? Absolutely. So 16 beers later his wizard's staff is pretty god damn impressive.
Now it's about 3:00AM, which logically means its sandwich time. He and his friends make their way over to WaWa to make sandwiches with the amazing computers. (Sidebar: if you have never been to a WaWa it's incredible at all times. But even more so late night when you have been drinking heavily. Think of a much, much better 7-11, with every type of drunk food you can imagine, open 24 hours.)
So since it's 3:00AM there isn't a single sober person in the place. As people see Ted coming, with his wizard's staff of course, and they start cheering for him. He's chatting up every in the store, and at some point he gets into a conversation with some drunk douche. It goes something like this:
Douche: Sometimes you just have to hit women, ya know?
Ted: Um, no. I don't know.
Douche: No, not like beat them. But just shake them a little when they aren't listening.
Ted: I'm still going to go with no.
Douche: Yea, come on! Like, when you need to get respect from them. Just a slap or something, you know.
Ted: No, seriously, I don't.
Douche: (*Angry that Ted won't agree with him about beating women*) Well I bet you didn't actually drink all those PBR's! *crushes top can*
Ted: ARGGGG!!! *starts fight*
At least I imagine he made an "Arg" sound, I wasn't actually there. What I do know is this conversation lead to a massive fight outside the WaWa at 3:00AM. Everyone was fine in the end, Ted's friends dragging him away from the misogynistic douchebag. The lesson of this story is never, EVER touch someone's wizard's staff. And don't beat women. Or go to a dry strip club. Really it's whatever lesson you want to learn from this story.
But mainly, it's 'don't touch someone's wizard's staff.'
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including douchebag's and the men they aggravate.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
While Ted was kind of hesitant to believe that a strip club would be BYO, he still bought a 30-rack of PBR and was ready to go to town if it was. So as he starts walking into the strip club, a bouncer (of course) stops him and asks him what the hell he is doing. When he replies, "It's BYO, right?" the bouncer essentially laughs in his face. So Ted tosses the beer in the trunk of his car, and heads in disappointed, but not surprised.
Now he's ready to see the naked ladies, so he figures he'll just order a beer inside. But that wasn't going to happen either. Not only is it not BYO, but it's also a dry bar. When the waitress asks him what he wants to drink, and tells him they don't have any beer, he ends up getting a juice. Seriously. A juice. At a strip club. Now Ted is in the strip club, watching a "19-year old girl paying her way through college" (i.e. 14 year old drop out from Russia), totally sober, drinking apple juice. It didn't take very long for him to decide to leave. I guess strip clubs kind of lose their appeal when there's no haze of alcohol to help you.
At this point Ted heads back home with his friends, determined to forget what a bizarre and uncomfortable night it's been already. So he starts pounding his PBR's, making up for lost time. At this point he decides to make a wizard's staff out of his empties. For those of you who have never made a wizard's staff, you basically just tape together the beer cans so they are all standing atop of another. Difficult or creative? No. Fun? Absolutely. So 16 beers later his wizard's staff is pretty god damn impressive.
Now it's about 3:00AM, which logically means its sandwich time. He and his friends make their way over to WaWa to make sandwiches with the amazing computers. (Sidebar: if you have never been to a WaWa it's incredible at all times. But even more so late night when you have been drinking heavily. Think of a much, much better 7-11, with every type of drunk food you can imagine, open 24 hours.)
So since it's 3:00AM there isn't a single sober person in the place. As people see Ted coming, with his wizard's staff of course, and they start cheering for him. He's chatting up every in the store, and at some point he gets into a conversation with some drunk douche. It goes something like this:
Douche: Sometimes you just have to hit women, ya know?
Ted: Um, no. I don't know.
Douche: No, not like beat them. But just shake them a little when they aren't listening.
Ted: I'm still going to go with no.
Douche: Yea, come on! Like, when you need to get respect from them. Just a slap or something, you know.
Ted: No, seriously, I don't.
Douche: (*Angry that Ted won't agree with him about beating women*) Well I bet you didn't actually drink all those PBR's! *crushes top can*
Ted: ARGGGG!!! *starts fight*
At least I imagine he made an "Arg" sound, I wasn't actually there. What I do know is this conversation lead to a massive fight outside the WaWa at 3:00AM. Everyone was fine in the end, Ted's friends dragging him away from the misogynistic douchebag. The lesson of this story is never, EVER touch someone's wizard's staff. And don't beat women. Or go to a dry strip club. Really it's whatever lesson you want to learn from this story.
But mainly, it's 'don't touch someone's wizard's staff.'
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including douchebag's and the men they aggravate.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
Monday, July 26, 2010
"It was like the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan..."
The quote above was said in reference to Preakness 2008. If you aren't familiar with Preakness, it's the second most popular horse race (after the Kentucky Derby) in the country held in Baltimore in May every year. It's also a complete and utter shit show.
In 2008 my girlfriends Amanda*, Ruby*, Kim* and I traveled the ridiculously long trip from Boston to Baltimore for this time honored tradition of drinking copious amounts of alcohol while pretending to watch horses. I am going to paint you all the picture of the day, before I get to the real story, to give you some setting. It's 7 am and there are people, mostly in their 20's, lined up everywhere. Everyone is already drinking, but it's pretty tame so far. Most people have coolers filled with beer and ice, in addition to babypools to put all the beer in and tarps to sit on. You pretty much bring enough beer that you don't have to worry about buying any while you are there for the 12 hour day. So basically, a lot of beer.
(FYI: Preakness has since modified their regulations and you are now limited on the amount of alcohol you are allowed to bring it. This modification happened the year after I went, and I'm not surprised that the rule was changed in reaction to the ridiculousness of Preakness 2008.)
When most people think of horse races I'm sure they think of the pictures that are posted from the society crowd watching the Kentucky Derby. Upperclass men and women in their fancy pastel colored outfits, mimosa's and cigars in hand, obnoxious floppy hats on their heads. These people were there, but they were in the seats on the outside of the track. We, on the other hand, were in the center of the track. And that was a very different crowd.
As the day goes on, and the crowd gets drunker, dirtier (we were on a grass field afterall) and rowdier, things begin to happen. Fights start breaking out here and there. People have sex in the fields (seriously). Port-o-potty races begin. Port-o-potty races are when someone climbs on top of the row of toilets, and runs across as fast as they can, while people below are pelting full beer cans at them. Check out the video below for an example.
As it gets towards the end of the day people are not only dirty and occasionally bloody, but some people also get sick. Not everyone can drink for 12 hours straight. So you have, like I said before, the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. Bodies every where, passed out on the ground, crawling, throwing up. It was gross. What was also gross was the amount of breasts shown.
All day long girls are flashing for free shots, free t-shirts, the crowds cheers, whatever. It's tacky and silly, and while we didn't participate in the flashing, we did comment on the girls who chose to. Many of these girls are decent looking, some even good looking. And you always know when someone flashed because from the general area you would hear "YEAAA!" or "WOOO!" (there were some very intelligent people are Preakness). But by us there were two girls who weren't getting any reaction at all.
One woman was way, way too old to be there. And way, way, way too old to be flashing everyone. She would climb up on a cooler trying to get everyone's attention, yell a bit, flash her goods, wait for the cheer, and hear... silence. The first time I felt bad for her. By the fifth time I was laughing. By the tenth I wanted to tell her to get a clue and stop that.
Shockingly she wasn't even the worst. There was another woman, and this was probably one of the largest people I have ever seen in my life. You know those TV specials about people so fat they can't get out of bed, and need the wall bulldozed down because they don't fit in the door, then need to be fork lifted out of their house? Yea, she was that big. She was trying all day to get some attention too, but was failing even worse than the old chick. That is, until, the end of the day.
She is completely topless, straddling some guy, making out with him for the world to see. The guy she was on top of was also extremely skinny, adding to the ridiculousness. No one was really paying them any attention until someone in the crowd yelled out the most perfect, epic, and priceless of all lines:
"HEY! IT'S ROB AND BIG!"
And it was. It was Rob and Big. I'm not going to lie, it was an awful thing to say, but I laughed.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including dumb, drunk, horse race watching fools.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
In 2008 my girlfriends Amanda*, Ruby*, Kim* and I traveled the ridiculously long trip from Boston to Baltimore for this time honored tradition of drinking copious amounts of alcohol while pretending to watch horses. I am going to paint you all the picture of the day, before I get to the real story, to give you some setting. It's 7 am and there are people, mostly in their 20's, lined up everywhere. Everyone is already drinking, but it's pretty tame so far. Most people have coolers filled with beer and ice, in addition to babypools to put all the beer in and tarps to sit on. You pretty much bring enough beer that you don't have to worry about buying any while you are there for the 12 hour day. So basically, a lot of beer.
(FYI: Preakness has since modified their regulations and you are now limited on the amount of alcohol you are allowed to bring it. This modification happened the year after I went, and I'm not surprised that the rule was changed in reaction to the ridiculousness of Preakness 2008.)
When most people think of horse races I'm sure they think of the pictures that are posted from the society crowd watching the Kentucky Derby. Upperclass men and women in their fancy pastel colored outfits, mimosa's and cigars in hand, obnoxious floppy hats on their heads. These people were there, but they were in the seats on the outside of the track. We, on the other hand, were in the center of the track. And that was a very different crowd.
As the day goes on, and the crowd gets drunker, dirtier (we were on a grass field afterall) and rowdier, things begin to happen. Fights start breaking out here and there. People have sex in the fields (seriously). Port-o-potty races begin. Port-o-potty races are when someone climbs on top of the row of toilets, and runs across as fast as they can, while people below are pelting full beer cans at them. Check out the video below for an example.
As it gets towards the end of the day people are not only dirty and occasionally bloody, but some people also get sick. Not everyone can drink for 12 hours straight. So you have, like I said before, the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. Bodies every where, passed out on the ground, crawling, throwing up. It was gross. What was also gross was the amount of breasts shown.
All day long girls are flashing for free shots, free t-shirts, the crowds cheers, whatever. It's tacky and silly, and while we didn't participate in the flashing, we did comment on the girls who chose to. Many of these girls are decent looking, some even good looking. And you always know when someone flashed because from the general area you would hear "YEAAA!" or "WOOO!" (there were some very intelligent people are Preakness). But by us there were two girls who weren't getting any reaction at all.
One woman was way, way too old to be there. And way, way, way too old to be flashing everyone. She would climb up on a cooler trying to get everyone's attention, yell a bit, flash her goods, wait for the cheer, and hear... silence. The first time I felt bad for her. By the fifth time I was laughing. By the tenth I wanted to tell her to get a clue and stop that.
Shockingly she wasn't even the worst. There was another woman, and this was probably one of the largest people I have ever seen in my life. You know those TV specials about people so fat they can't get out of bed, and need the wall bulldozed down because they don't fit in the door, then need to be fork lifted out of their house? Yea, she was that big. She was trying all day to get some attention too, but was failing even worse than the old chick. That is, until, the end of the day.
She is completely topless, straddling some guy, making out with him for the world to see. The guy she was on top of was also extremely skinny, adding to the ridiculousness. No one was really paying them any attention until someone in the crowd yelled out the most perfect, epic, and priceless of all lines:
"HEY! IT'S ROB AND BIG!"
And it was. It was Rob and Big. I'm not going to lie, it was an awful thing to say, but I laughed.
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including dumb, drunk, horse race watching fools.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Ridiculous-ly funny finds on the internet
So today I decided to post about some of my favorite ridiculous finds on the internet. Since I'm a receptionist at a company with a bunch of weirdos (that's a compliment in my book) I get a lot of ridiculous youtube videos sent to me.
Let's begin with the classic "Handsome Men's Club" from Jimmy Kimmel Live. The best part of this for me is Lenny Kravitz. But that might be just because I love Lenny Kravitz.
This next video is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. I don't even want to say anything more about it because I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. The only thing I will say is yes, he is in fact CRYING.
This video I think is ridiculous mainly because it's ridiculous that this man is not my friend. Seriously. There is a whole series to these but this one if my favorite. "She's a stupid bitch."
So remember, everyone is ridiculous, including people who make amazing internet videos!
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