Happy Birthday to...*boom* She fell off the toilet!

This tale of a dear friend Amanda* and her birthday in 2008. Amanda's birthday's are always what we like to refer to as "a shit show," and 2008's took the cake. It started innocently enough, the plan was to have everyone drink for a bit then head out to Revolution Rock Bar, one of Amanda's more frequented spots. Just a little FYI to those of you out there who haven't been to RRB, it's a bit more dressy, no cover but expensive drinks. So in order to counter-act the price of the drinks, the drinks were poured more freely before leaving. (In theory, if you drink more ahead of time you won't drink as much at the bar. As this story continues, you will see that things don't always work out as planned).



Upon arriving at RRB we discover that while there is no cover on Friday's, there is a $15 on Thursday's, and wouldn't you know it Amanda's birthday fell on a Thursday this year. So we did what any broke college kid would do, we marched our sparkly dressed, high heel wearing selves down to Sissy K's which is around the corner from RRB. A bit more information for those of you who are not family with Sissy K's; it is the antithesis of RRB. It's small, dirty, casual, cheap and a straight up pub. Also, it has karaoke.


The highlights of this night at the bar include myself singing "American Woman" with a 50-year-old, Amanda making out with some guy in the middle of the bar, and us earning the nickname "The Infamous Ashley, Amanda and Caitlyn.*"



The real fun began once the clock struck 2 AM, and we were forced to vacate the bar. Myself, Amanda and Caitlyn took a cab home, with Amanda's make-out buddy and his friend in hot pursuit of us. Evidently she invited people home for the "after party." Amanda, as graceful as she is drunk, eats shit the second she steps out of the cab. And as soon as Caitlyn and I have her on her feet again, turn to pay the driver, BOOM she's on the ground again!

Half-carrying her into the apartment to clean her now bloodied knees, we are all still pretty riotous. Our next mistake was believing she could use the bathroom on her own. From the kitchen, where Caitlyn and I were preparing snack's for our drunkchies, we hear for a third time that night BOOM!


Lying on the floor, with her dress pulled up and her tights pulled down, is Amanda with toilet paper in one hand and the seat cover in the other. "I fell off the potty!!" She declared. Yes, obviously.


Oh and evidently the toilet cover was meant to keep her stable, but she ended up taking it down with her in her fall. It was found the next morning in her room because she didn't want us to see it. Bit too later there...

The night proceded to wind down from there. The guests Amanda invited came over, ate some pizza with us, nothing too exciting. They did however stay the night, which leads to my favorite part of this story.

As Caitlyn and I were preparing some breakfast the next morning we got a phone call from an extremely hungover Amanda.

Amanda: Ughhh guys I keep throwing up at work. Ugggghhhh...
Us: Um, we're sorry. Can we do anything to help?
Amanda: Yea can you look in my room for my camera. I just want to make sure it made it home with me last night.
Us: Yea no problem. *click*

As I proceed to dig around Amanda's room for her camera, Caitlyn announces she's going on Amanda's computer to check her email. As soon as she opens her laptop a website is up that is similar to when you finish watching a Youtube video and it has the circle button that says "Play again." But it wasn't Youtube.

It was Youtube.

And we clicked it.

There, in all their naked glory, was a couple going at it in an amuteur porn video!!!!! Amanda watched porn the night before!!!!!

We later discovered that the friend that slept on the couch played it as a joke after Caitlyn and I went to bed. But it did not stop us from ragging on Amanda for months to come.

And then posting this story on my blog.

Everyone is ridiculous, including (ESPECIALLY) birthday girls!

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent, the not so innocent, and myself.